News Herald – Juliann Talkington
“Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation there is sure to be failure.” ~Confucius
Children need the wisdom and confidence to make good decisions, the work ethic to exceed expectations, the discipline to stay on task, and the fortitude to recover from setbacks.
The current economic situation in the U.S. makes parenting challenging. In most cases, both parents work. This means parenting is relegated to early mornings and late evenings during the week and weekends.
When a child runs into challenges with academic or extra-curricular activities, maxed out parents look for the most efficient way to solve the problem. In many cases they solve the problem for their child. Even though this approach is expedient, it means the child is deprived of a learning opportunity and is kept from experiencing failure.
We do not want kids to become so overwhelmed that they see success as impossible. On the other hand, we do not want a situation where children have been insulated from failure and leave home unprepared for the missteps that are a normal part of life.
Even though it takes more time and can be aggravating after a long day at the office, it is imperative that parents force their kids take responsibility for their actions. This means they have to allow their children to fail (accept the consequences for poor decisions) whether it is accepting an “F” for a plagiarized essay or sitting on the bench because of unsportsmanlike conduct.
Then it is imperative that parents support their children as they work to recover from poor decisions. For example, if a child submits a plagiarized essay, the parent needs to help the child figure out what to do next. Through a series of questions and answers, the child needs to figure out he/she needs to contact the teacher, schedule a time to meet with the teacher (without the parent present), prepare for the meeting, go to the meeting and apologize for the plagiarism, ask the teacher what needs to be done to correct the problem, and do what is asked.
Making a child accept responsibility might seem harsh and overwhelming, but is the best way for a young person to understand there are consequences for inappropriate behavior and to learn what to do after a mistake is made.
“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” ~Henry Ford